Tedious Twilight
April 28th 2010 08:28
If my Prince Charming even considers slipping a Twilight’ Engagement Ring on my finger, I swear upon my late great, great grandpa that I’ll whip the daylights out of him before figuratively flicking him out of the planet. I hate Twilight that much.
Not the time of the day immediately following sunset, but the horrible book that even has sequels, and I say this with a quivering voice because I have followed the entire saga through four very long, very boring books.
Plus, the ring will so not become me.
I still wonder how the twilight saga became a literary legend and then a silver-screen hulk despite it’s monotonous and unrealistic, fantastical, boring theme. I know there’s a category called ‘fantasy’ in the literary world, but fantasy novels are rarely monotonous, and half the time, it’s quite a respite to see them beaming in the book stores. Twilight, however, is the sort of fantasy that makes very little sense and a whole lot of boredom.
Twilight hit the big league simply because it played on the fantasies of young, mostly female or effeminate, readers, who opine that all men are typically infidels (pun intended). So stepped in Stephenie Meyer with Edward Cullen, a vampire, who alone is capable of exhibiting the sought-after loyalty. Well, the story could have been made interesting if every three out of four pages didn’t focus on Bella’s monotonous obsession for a vampire. And sadly, this vampire is not the vampire you read of in classic literature. This one has emotions – very boring ones. His obsession for Bella better remain unmentioned out of concern for all you literary addicts out there who may go into depression because of all the bad books stocked up in the shelves of today.
The Twilight Saga is that boring. And so are all those lunatic girls who wish they could go gaga over a palpable vampire and then marry him for real. Get a life, ladies!
When I learnt of the rejections Stephenie Meyer had faced, I actually leapt with evil joy. After all, some sensible people still seemed existent out there. And then came the unsettling news. The writing, editing, querying, and publishing of Twilight was simply a six month affair, and six months is quite a blink of the eye in the writing world. If I can get a book written and published that quickly, I’m going to throw a party for all you earthlings out there. And your pets are welcome too. Not really though! I don’t want a mob of billion plus thrashing my front door.
The Twilight Saga is a gleaming star for household name, Stephenie Meyer. And if I can’t appreciate the book, I can at least get inspired from her success story. She didn’t just get published, she got the ‘cool’ non-readers reading. More than three-quarters of the people who read Twilight weren’t devoted bookworms. Reading twilight delighted them and carried their imagination far and wide.
So far that now there’s even a ring. An engagement ring to be precise.
Hard truth: I’m a Martian. Or maybe, I have seen enough of the pure, traditional loyalty in my little world to actually need an Edward Cullen to lift my spirits. And I really don’t like the way the story drags on and on and on with Bella’s obsession for Edward. Bella, by the way, seems like such a terrible, reserved companion, who doesn’t seem to like anyone around her, except Edward, of course! And, oh! Oh! Oh! Did you know that Bella actually didn’t fall for a good dude? She fell for the physique and appearance of the dude. And most Twilight fanatics are actually in love with the handsome dude, who turns out to be good, but might as well have been an abusive man-eating vampire? Isn’t this bad morality? After all, beauty, as we have all heard, is only skin deep.
Plus, unfortunately, Edward Cullen has raised the bars for young single men! Jump higher, eligible bachelors.
Anything that is even vaguely reminiscent of Twilight is strictly taboo in my life. Even the ring, which by the way, didn’t register as beautiful in my head. The Twilight Saga, and this is just my opinion, is jinxed. How otherwise, did it generate a million plus die-hard fans?
Anti-Twilight love,
Maimoona Rahman
| 48 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
